seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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