I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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