Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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