you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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