Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
