Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
