We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
id be glad to
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
