I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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