Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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