I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
