Only a mothe r could love this liver
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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