I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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