I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
