wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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