yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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