This girl is more easily done than said...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
