he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I touched a dick in church today
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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