This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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