The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
