he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
