Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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