Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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