"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
