Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if only i could text you this smell
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
