operation have a gay friend backfired
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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