Small penises have feelings too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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