id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
