I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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