It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
the raccoons are back...
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