Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
