i think i have two assholes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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