The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
