sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
