you mean i was at the winter classic?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
