I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
