your thong is hanging out like whoa
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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