I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
