You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
