i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
