How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm bleeding and have questions
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
