i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
