your room smells of hookers.
And success
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize