Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
