I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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