Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
