I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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