Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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