the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
