I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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