hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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