just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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