i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize