i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
