dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is wine microwaveable?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
