Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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