is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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