you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
